as the end draws near

Wednesday August 4, 2010

Well, I think it’s safe to say that I epically failed at my blogging adventure. I did an excellent job of daily updating for about a week, and it went way downhill from there. Sorry about that. It was just in my time I had to write stuff, I usually felt like just sitting and NOT thinking about Wade. So, most of the time, I didn’t. But anyway.

I officially have one more full day of work at Wade, then I’m done. I spent nine weeks of my life here, and it was probably nine of the best, craziest, weirdest and most stressful nine weeks ever. I eventually gave up on eating Wade food and started just going to McDonald’s (that 10 pounds I had lost came back with a vengeance). I haven’t gone to sleep before 1 am in 2 months (though that is more due to my love of late night conversations than anything else). I’ve hugged on, loved on and “disciplined” the same 60-120 kids for nearly 50 days. I’ve said hello and goodbye to around 600 mission team members over the course of the summer. I’ve lived with and worked with 9 other amazing, awesome and wonderful interns who I am going to miss more than I thought possible for nine weeks. It’s definitely been a crazy ride.

God definitely had a plan for me this summer. And honestly? I still don’t know what it is. There are definitely things that happened and things I’ve learned that I would not have had the opportunity to experience if it weren’t for being here this summer. But I just have this nagging thought that God’s plan is way bigger than anything I can comprehend. Maybe I needed to come here this summer to read James. Maybe I needed to come here to love on a Wade kid that really needed me. Maybe by telling a mission kid my story and testimony, I’m going to completely rock their world, and I may not even remember their name. Maybe I’ll never know why I needed to come here, maybe I’ll find out tomorrow, or maybe in 50 years. But I do know one thing for sure, although I may not know WHY I needed to come here this summer, I definitely know that I HAD to come here. There was never a “hey, I WANT to do this”. It was definitely a God is telling me I have to go kind of situation.

As I look back on my last nine weeks here, I can’t help but look ahead to the three days I have left. I finished bible club today, and tomorrow is the last day of summer camp. I have all day Friday to hang out with the interns, pack and help clean the house. Then, early Saturday morning, I’m leaving. For good. After Saturday, the ten of us interns may never all be together again. And it’s so weird. I’ve literally spent every waking (and most sleeping) moments with these people for an entire summer, and in less than 72 hours, I don’t know that I’ll ever see them again. Its nuts. These last few days are definitely a bittersweet sort of situation. I’m looking forward to sleeping in a real bed and not a couch or air mattress. I’m looking forward to seeing my family! And I’m definitely looking forward to my mom’s cooking. But, I’m heartbroken to leave West Virginia and Wade. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it tomorrow when I say goodbye to all of the Wade kids, and have to leave them like so many other people have left them before. How can I say goodbye to these kids that I’ve fallen in love with this summer, knowing full well that I will probably never see most of them again? But, as sad as it is going to be to leave, I would not trade this experience for the world. These kids absolutely touched my life this summer, and I hope and pray that I was able to touch theirs. My life is changed because of Wade, and I’ll keep the tears that are bound to fall if it means I got to spend my summer this way.

Beyond the relationships I’ve been able to build with people this summer, my relationship with God is changing too. I’m still awful at reading my bible every day. I’m not great at remembering to pray about everything. But, I’m learning more and more to listen to God’s calling in my life, to recognize HIS pull on my heart. I’ve pretty much decided that I want to work at/run/start a Wade-type place somewhere after college. I want to use the gifts God has given me for HIS work and not for my glory. I have an undeniable passion for kids, why would I throw that away to accomplish my selfish goals? I don’t know what He has planned for me, but I know that it is perfect, and that it was way better than any plan I could ever possibly create on my own.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, ‘declares the Lord’, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.

My life has been rocked this summer, and in the best way possible. I’ve learned to recognize God’s plan in my life, I’ve been able to build some completely incredible relationships with so many people. I’ve been able to love on some amazing kids. And it’s all because after 9 months of fighting with God, I finally gave in to His demands for me. And I got way more out of it than I could ever possibly imagine.

when sorrows like sea billows roll

Thursday July 15, 2010

Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46:10-11

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Yes, I am God. I’ve always been God and I always will be God. No one can take anything from me. I make, who can unmake me?

Isaiah 43:13

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I lift my eyes to the hills –

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

The maker of Heaven and of earth.

Psalm 121:1-2

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But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint

Isaiah 40:31

Let my cry come right into your presence, God.

Provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word.

Give my request your personal attention

Rescue me on the terms of your promise

Let praise cascade off my lips,

After all, you’ve taught me the truth about life

And let your promises ring from my tongue,

Every order you’ve given my right.

Put your hand out and steady me

Since I’ve chosen to live by your counsel.

I’m homesick, God, for your salvation,

I love it when you show yourself.

Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well,

Use your decrees to put iron in my soul.

Psalm 119:169-176

Tough times at Wade. There are some internal issues and power struggles and politics going on, none of which I really feel like sharing. Just keep us in prayer. Constant prayer. Pray for strength for the interns to get through the next three weeks. Pray for the the summer staff to keep their heads high and hearts open. Pray for the mission teams that they will still be able to find God in this place. Pray for the kids, because they’re the reason we are all here, and they’re the ones some people seem to keep forgetting.

Just pray.

eat more chicken

Saturday July 10, 2010

Yay for time off! After all of the groups left yesterday afternoon, the interns sat down in the office for some good old cut & tape time. That is, cow spot cut and tape! Yesterday was Chick-fil-a’s Cow Appreciation Day, which means that if you dress up like a cow, you get a free meal! And being a group of ten college-aged people who get paid approximately 50 cents an hour, a free meal is definitely going to happen. So, we all cut out our printed cow costumes, taped/stapled/bobby pinned ourselves up and headed to Chick-fil-a. I got a free spicy chicken sandwhich meal, and it was even better than normal because I didn’t even pay a penny!

After Chick-fil-a, it was naptime. I think all of us slept for a few hours, and I got some good coloring done too. Mama V hosted a get together for all of the summer staff (summer camp and mission staff) so we went to her house and had another free meal. And a really good one too. And me being me, in a spread of homemade shepherd’s pie, pasta salad and beef, my favorite thing was the pizza rolls. I know, I’m literally a twelve year old. We had a lot of fun all just hanging out and playing “Picto-phone” and just laughing and stuff.

Then, it was just sleep time, which was awesome. I slept until 11 this morning, and then got dressed and helped clean and stuff.

All in all, it’s been a pretty relaxing day off, and definitely a much needed one! I feel much more energized and mentally ready for the week coming, so it’s all good. Then, after this week, it’s my church! Yay!!

I could use a nap

Thursday July 8, 2010

We’ve hit the mid-summer slump. We’re all exhausted. We’re grumpy. We’re frustrated. We’ve now had the same day 6 days a week for the fifth week in a row. We’re sick of sandwiches and gross eggs. We’re just generally down.

It's been a rough week so far, just a combination of a bunch of small things. But, one more day, and we get a break, a short one, but its still a break.

I didn’t really realize how MUCH I’d be working. Not how much work I’d be doing, but how much I’d be working. We get to Wade at 8 am and don’t leave until at least 10 pm Sunday-Thursday. Then, we get to leave at noon on Friday but have to be right back at 4 on Saturday. It’s starting to dawn on me that we literally work every single day. Our “day” off includes sleeping, so its really only a few Wade-free hours, which we usually spend cleaning our house since it’s the only time we can.

I’m still having a lot of fun, but I’m definitely looking forward to tomorrow and being able to reenergize before doing this all over again for the next four weeks.

Tailgates and Tennis Shoes

Monday July 5, 2010

Happy 4^th of July everyone! My first mountain top Independence Day was fabulous. Sunday is my favorite day of the week normally, and yesterday was just an extra special Sunday. We had our usual training/worship service/team bonding activity stuff for the mission teams in the morning, and then we all went out to the Overlook for worship and a cookout, which we do every week. But yesterday was best, because we had hamburgers instead of hot dogs! Yum. After dinner and worship, all of the interns took some awesome jumping pictures on the overlook (check out my 55 tagged facebook pictures to see them). It was amazing and really super fun. It was like the perfect bonding time.

Normally, we just head back to the house after worship, but since it was the 4^th, we hung out at Wade for about an hour before we went over to the middle school to watch fireworks. We took the two Wade trucks, and sat on the tailgate and talked until the fireworks started. I’ve also never been so close to the fireworks before! We could literally see them on the ground from where we were sitting. It was awesome. They were really cool though. The last time I saw fireworks on the fourth was two years ago on a pier over the water and St. Pete, and last night I saw them on a tailgate over the mountains of West Virginia. It was pretty much incredible.

After the fantastic fireworks, the interns all headed back to our house for a bonfire in “the Garden” (which is what we’ve named our little fire pit area). We made smores, and listened to Chelsea sing, and watched Ben put smoking things in the abandoned toilet (are you imagining what this place looks like? The toilet fits in the best. There is an old washing machine, a file cabinet full of bills, random garden tools and all sorts of other things). It was a very fun (and amusing) night.

All in all, it was probably one of my favorite fourth of July’s ever, and definitely my favorite night at Wade so far!

I have become a human jungle gym

Wednesday June 30, 2010

Pool day!

Which means that I spent the first 2 hours of my morning jumping, swimming, spinning, dunking and running with anywhere between one and three kids hanging off of me. But it was completely awesome. It doesn’t feel bad at all while in the water, but right now, my shoulders and back are seriously starting to ache. It was worth it though. It was pretty cold out there this morning though. I didn’t get in the pool for a long time because I didn’t want to have to take my jacket off (yes. . .I said jacket. In JULY). And then, I proceeded to freeze while in the pool, until three kids turned into my breathing blanket. It was fun J

We had hot dogs for lunch (yum. . .my favorite) which means that I really had a bun and baked beans for lunch (meal of champions, I tell you). But its ok. I’m starting to get used to the food.

Then, the rest of my day went pretty normally. Bible club was good, the kids were all really tired from the pool, so they were nice and quiet. My bible club mission people did yell at me though, because I was not wearing a bow. They told me that I was just not myself and did not look normal if I did not have some sort of bow/flower thing on my head. I remedied it when I changed for worship, and they were all really happy J

Worship was good again. Jennifer embarrassed me, and had me all red faced and giggly for an undisclosed reason. I got trampled in a mosh pit by a guy three times my size. I wore cool pink tennis shoes. You know, the usual!